When I retired I looked forward to evenings when my brain would be at rest. So often I would lie awake at night thinking of all the things I did that day, should have done that day, or needed to be done the next day. I'd think of things that I said to people or people said to me. Some people claim they can magically turn it all off. Compartmentalize things. Not me.
But with retirement, I figured that would stop. But it hasn't. I'm involved with a number of volunteer activities that clog my brain at times. I have a teenager who, like many teens, is struggling with how to become her own person but at the same time make room for others who are not like her. I worry about how I can help knowing that I probably can't. My brain does not turn off. As a result I've had more than my fair share of sleepless nights even since retiring.
It's bothersome. It makes me want to stay uninvolved. Maybe that would keep the brain free of worrysome thoughts.
Then today I saw a documentary on alzheimers. An alzheimer patient said she remembered when she had too many thoughts in her head, just like me. But now, her brain is empty. No thoughts.
Tonight I will sleep better. Tonight, I think. And that's good.
Hi, Jackie... As a retiree who has trouble sleeping (trouble staying asleep rather than getting to sleep), I blame my insomnia on having a whole bunch of thoughts in my head. Some years ago, before retirement, I figured that the problem would go away when I retired. Wrong! Bill
ReplyDeleteWell, Jackie, this just goes to prove that we are where we are, no matter what we do or where we go. But all this thinking about thinking makes my head hurt. This probably means it's time for a nap. But I'm still at work. ;-)
ReplyDeleteMeditaion.
ReplyDelete