Sunday, January 15, 2012

Retiree Prayer: Save Me From Myself

I am tired.  I don't sleep well.  I don't exercise.  I am reminded of what I most dreaded about being a working person day in and day out.  The stress.

Once, while I was still part of the workforce, I told my boss that I worked hard to keep stress at a minimum.    That it was a struggle for me.  He was dumfounded.  He told me that he never saw any hint that I was under stress.   I don't think he believed me.

Until I started putting together a fundraiser for our school, I had forgotten myself how under control I had it.     Now I wake up in the morning (or in the middle of the night) and right off the bat my mind starts worrying about what is or isn't getting done on the project.  I worry about how to talk to people about what they need to start or stop doing.  I worry that I will forgot something I've committed to doing.  I worry that people will think I am a total nag.  I worry that the whole thing will be an utter failure and I will have let down the people who are depending on me.

This is just like work.  Only after 25 years of working day in and day out,  I had found a way to make most of the worry go away.  Now, after almost two years of a mostly worry-free existence, I find myself back in the worry saddle.    And to think,  I VOLUNTEERED for this.

It is an important reminder of why I retired.